OK WHAT!!! and thinking back on some words I said

First off there was a pop up saying there are 4,000 cheating wives living in hartville, OH... I should see if I can can tell on all of them.


Anyways I noticed something, talking about future and dreams in my postion is not good. You know like wanting to be a missionary someday. That doesn't sit well the idea of you thinking about being gone. DOH!

We were talking about wages and I said at my next job I am going to be paid by the hour. Then they were like, so when do you plan on leaving then???

Inspiration

Was it Weezer?


Lately I have this feeling of uninspired and lack of creativity.. I think I used to really be creative and come up with some crazy ideas. But things in the ministry get so mechanical sometimes due to what I think is lack thinking time. Ill have to admit I have been at the church a lot lately and I think it is draining me. I get a lot of time to think but not creatively.

So I was in my car and got done with a book on CD. When I ejected it Weezer was playing on my ipod and I decided to listen to it for a while. Then all of a sudden it was like my creative juices started to flow again. Dreams started to happen and I felt Jesus speaking to me, showing me direction, and giving me courage. It was awesome.

I know it wasn't weezer but it was that I got out of the "life zone." Ya know, it is its where you can predict everything that is going to happen. And when something unpredictable does happen it doesn't even snap you out of it. Well for whatever reason 11:30 at night in Dayton OH I snapped out of it. Maybe it was because I knew I get to wake up the next day with no agenda. Maybe I left a physical zone I gave myself. Maybe I left a mental zone. I don't know what happened but I think I need to get out of this church more often. I need more of that because I need to lead these kids and people somewhere. But where is it. My current plan is good but it is a buffet of things I have read and learned. I am not even sure that is where God want me to lead them. I suppose thats the biggest struggle with leadership. Either way I need to make a few more trips to Dayton, OH to get my head on strait or figure why God was so clear to me at that time.

I came back

Well as most of you know I stopped blogging but I am going to give it another go. I suppose between bored with what I was writing and feeling restricted I gave up. Well here I am. I missed doing this and from time to time I felt like writing... but kansass.blogspot.com just didn't do it for me.

I suppose I am writing this out cause I am a man and I don't like saying this personally. Do all men have problems with expressing verbal affection and feelings? I think we do.

Well my motivation? I met someone (ill spare you too many details). She is like the perfect balance, 100% fun, even a little crazier than me. Yet 100% proper and as sharp as a tac. She is a country girl and knows how to build stuff and skin and cut up a deer. I think she is fearless cause she says and does stuff and I am like... uhhhh yeah ill leave that to you. She has an attractive personality, one of those people that you can't help but like. She knows stuff about herself and has a deep perspective of life, one that many people my age are still searching for.

What does she look like? I dont know. She has like a deep deep beuty and refined. Looks like $1,000,000 all the time. A natural beuty but crazy good looking with make up on. You really have to meet her I suppose. My dad used some word I never heard of to describe her on the phone yesterday, I don't remember what it was.

Best part is awesome Christian girl.

Well as much as I hate expressing this stuff (and believe me I left a lot out) shes really cool girl. I hope everything works out cause this is an amazing person.